Layne: Bidding on Brighter Futures
Transforming adversity into impact for life's pivotal second chapter.
Listen
In our season 2 kickoff of The Infinite Search, we journey with Layne through a landscape of profound transformation and deep self-realization. In "Bidding on Brighter Futures," Layne opens up about their evolution from a backdrop of cultural heritage and personal trials to becoming a beacon of change and authenticity.
Layne recounts the intricacies of growing up in a Latvian-Canadian household, grappling with identity amidst traditional norms, and the catalytic moments of clarity following personal loss and societal pressures. These stories offer narratives of struggle, of enlightenment, and of resilience gained through the lived experience.
With wisdom and sensitivity, Layne discusses the potency of acknowledging one's true self, the power held in community connections, and the impact of creating spaces where everyone feels they belong.
This episode is an exploration of how personal histories and vulnerabilities shape our ambitions, drive social change, and craft futures filled with hope.
Join us as we delve into Layne's life philosophy, where bidding is not just about auctions but a metaphor for advocating brighter futures through every action, every challenge, and every moment of vulnerability.
Guest
The Auctionista, Layne, is renowned for revolutionizing the art of auctioneering with a blend of charisma, advocacy, and inclusivity. Born and raised in Canada as part of a Latvian immigrant family, The Auctionista's early life experiences with cultural and personal identity challenges forged a path toward advocacy and openness. Identifying as non-binary, The Auctionista uses their platform to catalyze change and champion LGBTQ+ rights while fostering inclusive environments. Known for their vibrant and engaging auction style, The Auctionista also leads workshops and speaks publicly on diversity, equity, and inclusion, helping organizations create spaces where everyone feels valued and recognized.
Connect with Layne
Website: www.theauctionista.com
Instagram: @TheAuctionista
Facebook: @TheAuctionistaLayne
Twitter (X): @the_auctionista
LinkedIn: @laynetheauctionista
For speaking engagements, auction services, or workshop inquiries, please use the contact form on The Auctionista's website or email directly for a prompt response.
From The Library
Extended studies from The Infinite Search library. Dive deeper into authenticity with readings for personal and professional growth, building on Layne’s powerful story of transformation.
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Transcript
John: Layne, thank you so much for joining me.
Layne: John. Thank you. Me too. I'm excited to chat with you today. I've, I'm ready for anything.
John: Wonderful. You know, before we get into your work as the Auctionista.. And even before we get into the conversation around your work, reinventing that world and you're work in development. I would love to know a little bit more about who layne is.
Layne: Oh, well, you know, Layne is a first generation Canadian. Uh, my parents and grandparents fled from Latvia during the war and, uh, came to Canada in the late 40s, early 50s. so I'm a, um, I'm a Latvian kid and, uh, I grew up in a multi generational home. My grand, my grandparents lived with us. Um, that was very, very normal for me.
I didn't see too much of that in, uh, in the rest of my community, in my immediate, you know, uh, public school community. I think that, uh, we were different. And, um, you know, it was, uh, I had a really wonderful childhood. I had, I had wonderful parents. I have a sister, um, but I knew I was always different than everybody.
So I, you know, got my first taste of discrimination as a youngster, uh, because, you know, I, uh, I brought different kinds of foods for lunch. you know, I was not, we were not a PB and J family, that's not how we roll. We're a European family, you know, it's like meat and cheese on rye bread, you know, really solid stuff.
So, you know, um, I got a taste of, uh, what it, what it's like to be bullied and, to experience discrimination. Of course, this was my parents story coming to Canada as well as, you know, quote, unquote, DP. So there was always this underlying, discrimination factor, you know, and, um, that kind of then, uh, you know, uh, grew into, who Layne Is as an individual.
So, you know, identify as non binary. I did not identify as that as a 7 year old, but definitely as a 7 year old looking in the mirror at myself. I questioned who I am. But this was not a topic of discussion at a kitchen table or a schoolyard. Do you know what I'm saying, Johnny?
John: I sure do. I grew up in Texas and very distinctly remember, wearing women's clothes as a kid and not understanding why I was so different and, hiding that for the next few decades.
Layne: Yep, me too. Me too. That's, uh, yeah, we, um, these experiences shape us as humans, you know, it's incredibly impactful. And, you know, when we think about microaggressions, um, those. So called subtle, so called unintentional lines of questioning that can lead to microtrauma. Um, it's, it's a lot, right, John?
It's, uh, it can feel like a lot to hold.
John: It definitely can. You know, obviously that's shaped the work you're doing now. you know, there's that idea of punctuated equilibria.
In science and nature where you kinda just go and go through a life and then all of a sudden there's this schism, something dramatic happens. what was the precipice for you leading this sort of more grounded, inclusive, open, dynamic life.
Layne: Well, it took me a long time to get there. it actually started with the, um, losing my mother in 2003. I had been, um, in a, in a very abusive relationship and that ended in, about 2000 and I found myself kind of alone and with two children and trying to figure out my life. And, um, My mother passed away in 2003 at the age of 62, which is ironically, this is the year that I turned 62.
So, um, lost my mom to ovarian cancer. And at that time I was, uh, partnered. But behind closed doors, I did not talk about it. Sue was just quote unquote my friend, my friend, even though we hung out all the time, every evening, every weekend. When my mother passed away, my sister, my brother in law, and my father, we gathered at my parents condo.
And my sister said to me, you know, Sue should really be here. And I said, what do you mean Sue? She's just a friend. She's just a friend. She doesn't need to be here. And my sister was like, No. I've known since you were a child. It's so clear that you and Sue are much more than friends. And I said, well, daddy doesn't know.
So I'm not sure how I feel about this. And you know, you never want somebody to out you. You have to do, you have to come out when you're ready. But in this particular case, that was my story. I gave my sister permission to go tell my father. So she said, okay, hang on. I'm going to go talk to daddy. In the den behind closed doors.
Layne: Literally two or three minutes later, she comes out and she said, um, daddy wants to speak with you. And I thought, okay,
John: Yeah.
Layne: it goes, John here, here it is. This is my moment. Is this going to go really well? Or, um, so I walked into the den and my dad says, you know, sit down, honey. Okay. And, uh, he said, I just had a great chat with your sister, but I got to tell you, So disappointed.
So, so incredibly disappointed. And I said, disappointed? And he said, yeah, that you felt that you couldn't come to mommy and I earlier, sooner, in your life, because this changes nothing. We love you. You're a kid. You're just a wonderful human being. And so I want you to get on the phone. And Sue should be here.
Um, and we're moving forward as a family together.
Layne: And that, that was it. John, once I realized that my family still loved me, unconditionally. All of a sudden, this sense of freedom washed over me. And yes, there was still a long ways to go because, you know, there is that big bad world out there and the business world and friends and all of that kind of stuff.
But that is how it began. That is where I opened that door. I literally came out of the closet and came out of the den. Let's put it that way. Came out of the den. With newfound freedom.
Once that happened, then, you know, think it was still a process. John, it's still a process. You know, um, I, I will tell a kind of a funny story because, you know, Sue and I were, this was our first experience being in a same sex relationship. So, you know, we were. How I call it, it's like, you know, the sound of music where Maria is in the hills, the hills are alive with it.
That was me. I was spinning on top of the hill. I felt free and open, but there was nobody there. It was empty. So Sue and I were like, Wow. There's gotta be more like us out there, . So we said that would be great to find others and find community because, it is so incredibly important for all humans to have their community, to have that sense of belonging.
So, John, get, get a load of this. I said we're gonna, we're gonna go find other lesbians. We're going to, we will find them. I said, I'm not sure how, but let me start by Googling. As I went to the computer, where are all the lesbians in Ontario, Canada? And guess what? The London Lesbian Film Festival in London, Ontario popped up.
And it was coming up in May and we bought tickets and we went looking for lesbians and we bloody well found them all there. So,
John: perfect
Layne: that was the, that was the, that was the beginning of, uh, you know, really finding community and understanding that, wow, there's a whole other world out there that we had no clue existed.
John: What was the process like of, of starting to align your personal with your professional life? I see it constantly where people don't want to talk about pronouns or don't want to use the, you know, the letters D E I or all of those sorts of things.
Layne: Well, you know, I, um, I looked at it this way, for two reasons. Um, when my mother passed away from ovarian cancer, um, her surgeon, was relentless. In, you know, calling my father, emailing my father, saying, your daughters need this genetic testing done, because we had, you know, when you do a familial snapshot of all the females on my maternal side.
Ovarian cancer, breast cancer, breast cancer, ovarian, lots of lineage of, of breast cancer and ovarian cancer. So, we did have the BRCA1 testing done. And my sister was clear, thankfully, but I carried the gene. And I made a very, uh, uh, uh, dramatic, uh, decision. And that was that I had a double mastectomy and full hysterectomy.
Because the doctors were saying, Layne, because of your family history and the research we've done, you, you will, it's not a matter of you might, You will get these cancers, so your options are either you wait it out and do annual breast screening, or radical surgery, double mastectomy, full hysterectomy.
I was like, yeah, sign me up for that one.
Layne: I feel, in that moment, I was given a second chance at life. So that was huge for me. Um, and also the acceptance of my family. And then I was beginning to, you know, um, kind of very naturally beginning to explore my gender identity and all of that. And I thought, you know what, I'm 40 years old.
Layne: I am going to make this second half of my life count. And I will surround myself with individuals that support me, that love me, and that are going to be on this journey with me. So I made a conscious effort to do that. before I accepted an invitation to do a gig.
I would have a discovery call and if it didn't feel right and if it wasn't going to feel safe for me, I would just not do the event. So I was very intentional about, you know, being with folks that Want to be with me for who I am and support me.
Layne: You know, dog runs up to another dog. They have the sniff test. You're either it's going to work or it's not. And I was all about that. It's like, if it doesn't feel right, my intuition, the little person on my shoulder, I'm out of here.
John: What gives you that ability to trust yourself or to find that courage, you know, courage can be such a hard thing. To, to muster, I'm curious, you know, you seem to have gone through this process of reinvention and constant change to the point where it's, it seems to be part of you now.
Layne: I appreciate that observation because I have folks ask me this all the time. Layne, you've reinvented what an auctioneer is. You're, you're non binary. you identify on stage the way you authentically are as a human being. You don't waver to that authenticity. And how is it that you do that?
Layne: Well, I think in life, There is not a single human being that hasn't experienced trauma. whether it's, you know, losses of, of one type or another, financial burdens, uh, loss of partners, children, um, you know, there is a process of coming out of that deep valley.
And when you come out of that deep valley and you work through the fear, you work through the, the angst of all of that, you do Learning and growth and you take away that experience with new skills, new outlooks on life, and you start putting those in your backpack of skills. And I have, I have overcome a lot of stuff like most people, you know, whether it's discrimination, cultural discrimination, gender discrimination still happens to me every single day.
Um, I've, I've come out of a, uh, of a very abusive, uh, uh, marriage, domestic violence. I've overcome that. I've gotten through it. So, I, I think I look at the, the deep valleys As not just these moments that are insurmountable, I look at them as moments of growth.
John: You were talking around that idea of everyone has trauma. I'm of the belief that it's a generational thing too. I see some of the prejudices that you had to deal with being Latvian. I'm curious if you can feel that strength as well from, from those roots.
Layne: I do. I do. And, very interestingly, you know, we were very involved with the Latvian culture, uh, growing up. we did a lot of stuff at the church, at the community center. I was very involved. Folk dancing, you know, uh, it, it, there was strength inside that community. Um, so it is part of my DNA and I am very proud of it.
It was tough as a kid. Um, you know, you look a little bit different, you sound a little bit different, you have homemade clothes. Cause you know, you're, it's, it's a tough transition. Uh, but you know. Interesting that I am going to Latvia this July. I have never been there and I am taking the, the trip to Europe to go and I'm also, reading a couple of books, you know, I'm not an, I'm not a reader and I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm very open about that, that I'm an avid non reader, um, but my parents gave me a couple of books.
And they're inscribed, and I have never read them, and these books are, somewhat historical, but also, narrate the plight of, the Latvian family, and, and the history, and the struggles, and it's important for me to understand that, because I think that I I saw resilience in my parents and my grandparents.
Layne: my grandfather was the chief forest ranger in Latvia in the 1930s. And when they came to Canada, he was a janitor, uh, a factory. And somehow I have seen, you know, my immigrant father go through university and become a pharmacist and own a shop or a store like your CVS stores.
I have seen that around my family. Uh, in the, in the Latvian culture, this, you know, the, the folks in that community. So, I think it's, it's been there. Since I was a little kid, I don't think I acknowledged that, that it's like, oh, my parents have strength and courage and resilience. But I learned early on that, you know, you can, you can do stuff.
You can do whatever you want. You can be whoever you want. And my parents did not ever discourage me, you know, that I didn't like to play with little dolls. I mean, I wanted to be out with the guys, out on my bicycle, playing, You know, police chasing and, you know, my dad taught me how to play baseball and football.
And there was never any of that conversation of, wow, you should be, you know, trucks. No Barbies. Yes. You know, so I think that you're right. It is a generational thing. I think that it was always there. Yeah.
John: Yeah. That reinvention was there from the necessity of them immigrating too.
Layne: Right, exactly.
John: So that definitely has this, relationship to what you do now can you talk more about what that process was like around getting started?
Layne: okay, i've got to rewind a little bit to how this even happened because I was uh, uh, I was a uh, I worked at shoppers dark mart for years, but at that time I was a financial advisor So we have a very very close friend who was an executive director of a women's shelter And they invited Sue and I to a dinner and auction.
I believe I was about 45 at the time, 16 years ago, maybe 17 years ago, something like this. John, I had never been to a gala auction. I had never been, um, you know, I grew up in this really European mindset, and even as my life progressed as an adult, and with the person I was with, it was very, um, European background, so we did not go to these American Canadian galas, I just, it just didn't, it was not in In the landscape for us.
So, so we're invited Sue and I. And, uh, literally, I said, so, like, what is this? Like, do we bring a wallet? What do we do? Is there like, I'm not even kidding you. Not kidding you. So we walk in I see all the tables around the perimeter. And, you know, like, I'm like, oh, my God. Ugly Afghans and pillow sets and oil and vinegar baskets and irons and air fryers and all that stuff.
Layne: And then I was explained that that's a silent auction. You got to write your, number down on a piece of paper and then you win this. Great.
Layne: So we sit down for the, you know, rubber chicken dinner and. He comes out the auctioneer. I mean, I knew nothing about auctioneering. I, I didn't even know this was a profession or a thing.
Now looking back, I know that this person was a livestock auctioneer because for two hours he slammed through 120 live auction items. I'm sure you watched the Flintstones when you were a kid. Did you?
John: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Layne: You did. Okay, so I want you to think about when they have those scenes where Wilma or Fred are running through the house and all you see is table lamp chair, table lamp chair, table lamp chair, table lamp chair.
That's what this auction was like. Two hours of table lamp chair, table lamp chair, and pushy. And like just vile. It was, it was jarring because he was so pushy and just like not kind And I realized, I mean, the guy probably sells pigs for a living and that's what you would do in a livestock auction, but you cannot translate that into a room of people that are there to support a charity and are expecting to be inspired.
And and graciously welcome to donate and and to dig deep.
Layne: So I turned to Sue during this auction and I said, my gosh. I could totally do that, and I'm sure I could do that better. And she's, and she's like, honey, come, come on. Like, what are you talking about? And I said, just, you know what, I'm gonna go talk to the guy.
Layne: So I walked up to Buddy after the auction and I literally said to him, John, how do I learn to do what you just did?
Layne: And these are the, these eight words. Sparked a fire in me like nothing else had in my life. Uh, you know, so he says to me, First, hey little missy. Those are the first three words. We can unpack that for days. Telling me, first of all, there's the discrimination, um, um, female, you know, at that time I was identifying as a lesbian. Females are not welcome. It's a closed club. Um, hey little Missy. This is a generational career. That was the end of the conversation. Bye.
Layne: I sat in that for like 30 seconds and in my brain, nobody puts layne in the corner.
Nobody puts baby in the corner. And I walked back to the table and I said, um, I'm going to be an auctioneer.
John: I think at that point you already were. I think it was instantaneous.
Layne: And guess what? I went to auction school. I was obsessed with this whole thing for six months, and I researched and researched, and in December of that year, the gig was in May, the, the auction dinner, and in December, I drove away from our house, and I was driving to Mason City, Iowa from Toronto, um, uh, to, to the Worldwide College of Auctioneering School.
Oh.
John: I didn't know that existed and I'm so happy I do.
Layne: Yeah it does.
There's a lot of auction schools in the States, of course, right? Ah, and then I arrived, and I looked around, and you want to know what, what did, you know what I saw, John? I saw all those generational auctioneers. There was Billy from Texas, you know, there was Johnny from Wyoming, the 10 gallon hats, the big silver belt buckles.
I swear to you, I looked at them. I looked at the room of people and I was like, holy, holy, I number one, am not only one of like two females here, I'm the only gay in the village, presumably. Presumably.
Statistically, we know they're there, but I have never in my life felt so incredibly intimidated. And so vulnerable. Oh my gosh. So I ran back up to my room. I called Sue. I said, guess what? I'm, I'm just going to turn around and come back home. I'm like, I'm, this is crazy. I don't know what I was thinking.
This is not happening. And she said, Oh, you're staying. You're, you're, you're absolutely staying because you have been obsessing about this and I can't take it anymore. So just get the course, get the course done and just get it done. And I did and I stayed and I made friends with some of those guys
John: Yeah.
Layne: and I couldn't chant fast.
I couldn't do it. It's not, I couldn't accomplish this. I have never felt so vulnerable. And there's, um, the wonderful Brene Brown says that vulnerability is our greatest measure of courage.
Layne: When you are vulnerable and you let yourself go into that space that you were so uncomfortable with. John, I had no idea that I would find my superpower going to Iowa to auction school and becoming the Auctionista.
John: I'm from Texas and I know a lot of those people and I grew up in 4H in, And so my original framing of what an auctioneer was, was Tex from Texas with the 10 gallon hat. And it's amazing to see that you were able to not just exist in that space, but to make some space
Layne: I did. I certainly did. I mean, I am a different person. You know, I have grown since that time, but, uh, yeah, I mean, and then I came back and I was a financial advisor. I mean, I had no market. I had not, not one client. And it was like, I honestly thought, John, that I would come back and do maybe 4 or 5 events.
Make a little bit of, uh, side hustle money. We'd go to Costa Rica, have a vacation. And I just continue with that nine to five career and do this auctioneer thing on the side, but that is absolutely not. What happened at all?John: What was the moment you were like, okay, I'm the Auctionista, so I'm not a financial advisor anymore.
Layne: Yeah, that took a while, took a while. So I actually left financial advising during that time because now I was passionate about charities. So I transferred my skills as a phenomenal, you know, um, client relationship builder, trustworthy, financial advisor, and I became a fundraiser in the charitable sector.
So I was literally doing both jobs. I was fundraiser by day at the charity nine to five, and I was doing gigs. Thursday, Fridays and Saturdays. Uh, because once I did one, one led to five, five became 15, 15 became 40, 40 became a hundred and I had this space, this place where I was in the fulcrum point of my career, either I.
I gotta go and I gotta go. I've got to leave this nine to five because there is something incredible happening inside this auctionista business. And I did. I made the leap and I completely gave in and way to being full time auctionista. Um, that was about four years into doing that. So I had, Built up clientele.
I had built up cash flow. I had done all the right business things. Remember, I got a financial head. So I knew that I was at that place. Sue had a great job. Um, so there was no financial worry in our household. And once I gave it a hundred percent or 200 percent cause I don't do anything at a hundred. Um, everything exploded from there.
Completely exploded. Um,
John: You have over like 1400, almost 1400 now, right?
Layne: yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. It's it's a lot.
I have never missed an event ever in 15 years ever, ever, ever. I've not missed one. I've not been sick or lost my voice. I've never missed an event.
John: There's definitely something to be said for this idea that persistence and just getting things done incrementally is so much more important than this idea that you have the revolutionary way of doing something.
John: I'm curious, did you see that world of, moving into the nonprofit and that social space as, a way to do more auctioning and to do more fundraising or was it, you were still a little concerned about the idea of the Auctionsita to as a, as an idea.
Layne: I came back from Iowa from Auction school with small mentality, small thinking. If I had thought big, Right from the onset and thought, I am going to do something big with this. I think maybe my direction and trajectory would have been quicker. But I came back with the idea that it's an unknown thing.
And you have to remember Canada is so different. Then the U. S. U. S. your charity auctioneers, they're, they're everywhere, you know, like New York full of them, massive galas, New York and, and L. A. and Florida and, and, you know, the, your, your West coast in Canada, there was only. Me, no, people would say to me, so you're free, right?
Like, there's no fee for this because Bob, the auctioneer has never charged us. And I said, well, Bob, the auctioneer is a livestock auctioneer.
I'm a charity auctioneer. I'm, I'm here to show you how to create inspirational moments, how to ask for donations, how to do all that. This was like brand new.
In this space. In fact, the large charities in Canada here in Toronto, they were bringing up charity auctioneers from the U. S. to come and perform because there wasn't anybody. So, you know, I had to, there was a point where I was educating these charities I was talking to. Right. And, you know, converting them from free to fee and why they should pay me.
Right. So I came in with a small mentality. I was like, yeah, I'm going to do this as a side hustle, side hustle, side hustle. And I also knew that, you know, the importance of raising money. And I wanted to take my skills as a great salesperson, as a. Person who believes in the great work of charities providing services and supports for vulnerable groups, marginalized people. is very important to me as a human being. So I was okay doing that work, but it didn't, it did not really lead me to new auction work. It was, it's all word of mouth. Somebody would see me at an event. And they'd say, Hey, you got to come and do ours. And then you got to come and do ours and we need you to do ours.
Layne: So the very first auction I had, I was asked to do it for free. And I said, absolutely not. I will not devalue what I bring to the table. I am going to charge you 250 and a chicken dinner. How's that? And I think back to that. And I think today. You know, um, where I've come, uh, and the space that I have now created for others to follow suit here in Canada and not just space for females, um, because that already is breaking the stereotype up here.
Layne: but also, you know, providing that visibility and representation for 2SLGBTQ2 plus folks, for all queer folks. To see Layne doing their thing in their skin, so comfortable with applause and recognition and just doing a great job and so happy that, you know what, we can be anything that we want to be.
Layne: When you surround yourself with the right people and you believe in yourself. Um, and that's not to say that the journey is walking through daisies, John, because it's not. I am misgendered constantly. I was doing an auction a few years back, and I was in the middle of selling a live auction item, and I came up to the backup bidder and asked him to go up to his next bid, and he stopped me, and he said, are you a man or a woman? And I got to keep going. High octane, super fun layne. These are the things, John, That happen when you're a public figure and you're a performer, and people are, um, inappropriate. Curiosity is what we call it, right? Inappropriate. And you need to know that. Why? Are you not having fun with just Layne doing their thing and raising money and you know?
So, sometimes I don't get triggered at all, and sometimes I do because I'm human.
John: We're all human. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I'm also glad that you have a lot of courage and strength
Whenever I look at the work you do, it reminds me a lot of not just auctioning, but more of as a designer, really, of, of an experience or of a, of an outcome.
You know, it, the money and all of that, that's wonderful. But the idea that they're going to change their own behavior for a certain reason, I think is, is transformational.
Layne: I have never had anybody put it that way and I am writing this down. Designing an experience because you completely nailed it with that people remember what they feel Not what they see they remember how you make somebody feel they can that can have a ripple effect
John: And I imagine that they're more vocal about it and that they go and evangelize that experience to other people too.
Layne: Well, this is what you want, right? I mean, to, to be an impactful speaker or workshop facilitator, which I am as well, you hope that what you have created in that one hour keynote or that full day workshop resonates with individuals that causes self reflection and a change in behavior. That's the outcome you want.
John: What's your experience been like with workshops?
Layne: Fantastic. So the workshop that we have created is called the Impact Workshop, and it's diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging. And it's a full day of training. And it's very experiential. And I love that you said designing an experience because it is, it is, Layne doesn't do lectures. I mean, I am, you can see me, I, I'm, I'm sure you're, you're, you know, you, you see that I'm very animated.
That is just who I am. So my workshops are not a lecture. they are comprised of, sure, role playing, group conversations, open conversations. Uh, they are very interactive. We do a lot of polls and gamification. But I'm also, including my personal storytelling as it aligns with the content of the training.
So, really providing those real life experiences, so that folks understand what is the reality of a 2SLGBTQ2 plus person. What is the reality for that individual in the workplace? What is the reality of that individual in the community? Obviously, the DEIB training we're doing, we're working with, work teams specifically, um, but, you know, really fostering that open dialogue.
Layne: And, I think I said earlier that I don't do cancel culture. I make it very clear that this is a safe space. Obviously, It's important that we are respectful of everyone in that space, in that training, room. Um, but it's okay to make mistakes. It is literally okay because we are human beings.
I cannot expect that everyone is going to get my pronouns correct the first time. These kinds of things take practice for many people. And so if somebody incorrectly uses, she or he, I'm going to say, Hey, my pronouns, are they, them? And, you know, the conversation is, acknowledging.
Layne: Yeah, Layne, I'm sorry. I just misgendered you. And I'm going to, I'm going to do better. That's all I'm asking for. Right. I am not saying, you know what? You got me wrong. I don't ever want to see you again. It's it's this is about growth human growth the human experience nobody's perfect. I'm not perfect either, you know, I I make mistakes as well And I think that we have to give ourselves a bit of a permission slip on that to be like, you know what?
I am gonna make mistakes, but the thing is stop drop and roll, baby Stop acknowledge it to the other person. Hey, john, I apologize I just, I got your pronouns wrong. I'm going to do better. I won't make that mistake again.
John: There's no more important knowledge than the lived experience. And that sort of way of sharing that I think is really beautiful.
Layne: I opened up the pages of Layne's life. I'm at a place, in my own life journey where I'm very comfortable in my own skin. I'm very comfortable with who I am. And. I knew and I know that it's time for me to take my voice beyond the ballroom. So the keynote speaking was a natural evolution to that.
During COVID, I was getting knocks on the door all the time. Layne, we're shut down, but we still want, we need a little layne time. So talk to us. What are your keynote topics? Sure. About mental health, you know, uh, all, all the things. Okay. And it just became kind of a natural transition into this next part of my life. I've been in front of a lot of audiences.
I know the results of fundraising speak for themselves and I'm very proud that I have the ability to aspire and move people to action. Now I just want to do it in a little bit of a different way. I'm never going to give up the auctions because I just love, Raising money for charity, that is not going to stop, but now, you know, I want to be a, that social justice voice, that advocate for the underrepresented, the vulnerable, and the marginalized, because that's my life experience.
John: So it's the auctions, it's the workshops, it's the keynotes, it's the sharing of community.
Layne: it's a hell of a lot of fun too. I truly believe that I am very connected to my inner child. I loved being four years old. Four years old was like the best thing.
You wake up in the morning and you're excited. It's like, oh my gosh, the sun is shining. It's a new day. Mommy's here. What are we going to have for breakfast? Where are we going to go? You get to play, play, play. And play is so fun. It's, it's so critically important for, emotional, social, uh, psychosocial development for children, but it's also incredibly important to, to make sure that you have that play factor as you move through life.
I had somebody say to me, Layne, you are accessing your internal pharmacy naturally. There are so many folks that, you know, require antidepressants and, you know, prescription drugs or alcohol or whatever. But the work you do, makes you so happy. And I am a very playful person on stage.
And when I present that my body is creating its own endorphins and all that good stuff. And that just.
I'm just a happy child. I, I, I really think, that's why I, have so much, you know, fervor for continuing to do this work. I'm not ready to retire and do, and do what? What am I going to do?
What am I going to do when I retire? I don't know. I don't read, so that'll be a problem, but um, I would be, you know, riding my ATV or traveling, but I love connecting with people. I like driving change. I love people taking action. I love just hearing other folks stories. We are so connected, John. We are so connected, human beings, you know.
It's an incredible thing.
John: When you were speaking earlier, you were talking about Iowa and the fact that you'd had that small mind. I don't see that anymore. I'm just going to clarify that. I don't see that one bit. And so I'm very curious. What is the next five years of the Auctionista and the next five years of layne
Layne: You know, I had someone very recently, like a week, two ago, say to me, Layne, you know, you are one of the top fundraising auctioneers in the world. You have an incredible business and an incredible brand. You do so much good. Why are you reinventing yourself?
And doing keynotes and, and workshops. And, you know, my answer was very simple because I want to, and because I can, and I know that I will be successful because I believe in this work. Um, and it's important to me as a human being, you know, I'm not a singular interest individual. Do I love fundraising auctions?
Yes, of course I do. It's my passion. But I also. In the general scope, I love connecting with people. So I don't look at this as a far leap from what I've been doing, hosting galas and fundraising. It's just like I said, taking my voice beyond the ballroom and, connecting with a whole other group.
Of individuals. and I'm excited about it. And, you know, one of my mantras is failure is not an option. And when you make decisions and you make choices, um, that just keep bringing you forward to your ultimate goal. Dream it. I mean, I've done it. I've reinvented myself. I've come out of an abusive domestic violence situation and I never thought I would be happy again.
And here I am. I have a wonderful human being that I share my life with. And I, I didn't know that that was going to be possible for me. So, boom, checkmark. Um, I made the transition to breaking the stereotype, doing things like nobody had ever done them, and being authentically myself, checkmark number two.
So, I know that anything is possible because I've already done it. So off I go.
John: Layne, I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing in conversation today. It's been really inspiring, not just to have this conversation, but to do the research on you and learn more about what you do and why you do it.
Layne: Thank you, John. It's been a real pleasure, and I do want to acknowledge and thank you for creating safe space, um, for me to be open and honest and vulnerable. So thank you, John.
John: I look forward to continuing our conversation, and continuing the search.
Layne: Thank you.
John: Thanks.